My Lack Of Skill
by LivingInYourLetters
Summary: When you're alone, it's hard to imagine what else there is. SS
1. Chapter 1

I was walking down the streets, down to the shore, wondering how I ever got to where I am today. I was 25 years old, living in Rhode Island working as a successful journalist for the city's newspaper. I had a lot to offer to people yet I was all alone. My life was together, but I was lost. I thought all my loneliness would end in high school, but it hadn't. I'd even tried to change myself in order to be accepted or to simply get the courage to ask someone out. I wasn't clumsy or geeky in a way that was unattractive but somehow, nothing really helped. It felt like the end of the world. My life was filled with rejection that left me to live in sorrow.

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The city was cold from the winter and it was so unfamiliar. _How did I get myself here?_ I walked out of the cab and grabbed my luggage from the trunk. This was the beginning. I paused for a moment to look at the building I stood before.

_This is my home. For now._

I picked up my luggage up to my mother's apartment.

"Hey Mom!" I ran up to give her a long embrace.

"I'm so glad you decided to stay, Summer. I've been so lonely for so many years, but after your last visit, I knew I wouldn't be alone for the rest of my life."

Summer was glad she would be able to stay with her mother, Anne Roberts, who had been alone for so long after she had separated from her father. This was the right decision. She was going to live with her mother, and start a life here in Rhode Island, whether she liked it or not.

"Come on Summer, let me show you where you can stay."

"Mother, you do know this is temporary until I find my own apartment, right?" Summer said as her mother guided her through the hall to her room.

"Of course. What will your friends think when they find out you're 25 and still live with your mother?"

"First I have to have friends. Everything's so new now I have to start my life right now."

"Don't worry. There are plenty of people in Providence." Her mother put her hand on her shoulder for assurance. She then closed the door behind her and left Summer to ponder.

I flopped onto my bed, trying to grasp everything on my mind. I decided to take a walk to relieve all my stress. I grabbed my and coat and looked myself in the mirror. I had done a great deal of changing during college. Life was all about fun in high school, but when college had started, I had gone serious to pursue my goals. Luckily for me, I was able to reach them and get a decent job right away here. I was a very independent person who became more loving and caring when I had a steady relationship in college, but that had crumbled soon after. I had decided that I had changed for the better. My fashion sense most definitely changed for the better. I was classier and had a sudden obsession with designer and vintage clothing. I'll have to go shopping soon…

Just as I headed out the door, my phone started buzzing.

Marissa. One person who hadn't changed. She was still living in Newport with her boyfriend, Ryan.

"Hey Marissa."

"How's Rhode Island treating you?"

"Cold."

"Cold?"

"Cold as in the weather. Everything is out of place in my life. How will I start a life without knowing a single person to show me around? I know I have my mother, but I don't want to pester her into my problems."

"Stop worrying Sum! You're starting work tomorrow so you're bound to meet someone. And there are plenty of people there! You just gotta go up and talk to them. It's as simple as that."

"No one has the time of day to talk to me."

"Where are you anyway?" Marissa said curiously.

"I'm sitting on a bench near the shore. The Atlantic ocean is so different from the Pacific, but it's equally as breathtaking." Summer sighed at the view.

"Are there any lonely bums like you there?"

"Actually there is."

"Really? Who? Is it a guy? Is he cute?"

"Calm down, Coop! It's just a guy. Not like I haven't see one before." She said contently as she gazed at his lonely figure.

"Describe him to me Sum! I haven't had any boy gossip from you in a very long time." Marissa sounded a little too excited.

"Well, he's tall, and thin. His is skin is pale, but whose isn't in Rhode Island? He has dark brown curls in his hair that slightly blows in the wind and he does look cute."

"Go talk to him! This is your chance to start a new life and when I mean life, I mean your love life."

"Okay okay I will, but I have to hang up."

"Bye Summer."

Summer shut her phone and went up to the guy.

"Hey." Summer smiled sweetly as she tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

He was caught by surprise that a beautiful, petite, young woman had come up to him.

"Hi." He said softly and he smiled as he looked into her eyes.

Summer leaned against the railing casually. She took a long glance at the Atlantic before turning her attention to him who had been eyeing her. He smiled at her when their eyes made contact. Summer felt the butterflies in her stomach. _Was he just checking you out?_

She this guy for less than a minute and he was already making her blush.

"My name's Seth." He said as he placed his hand out that she gratefully took.

"I'm Summer. I'm actually new to here so I don't really know my way here."

"So what brings you here?"

"Well, my mother lives here and I want to be able to be close to her even if it means starting a life here." She said with a hint of sadness.

"You make it sound like the end of the world. Rhode Island isn't the worst place in the world. Once you get to know it, there's really no place you'd rather be" His eyes were fixate on the sights before him.

All of a sudden, Summer's phone starting buzzing. Seth turned his attention to her.

"Are you gonna get that?"

"Yeah." She grabbed her phone from her purse.

"It's my mom." She said and turned to her phone.

"Hello mother."

"Hey Summer. Where are you? I looked in your room to check on you and you were gone."

"I just went out for a walk. Look, I'll call you when I get home."

"Okay. Just be careful." And then she shut her phone

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay. It's sweet that you have a close relationship with your mother. I don't really have a close relationship with anyone." His eyes began to wander again.

_Does that mean he's single? Oh my god. What are you thinking! This guy has no friends and all you can think about is if he has a girlfriend._

"Not here, that is."

How can someone who has lived her for so long and is so kind, sweet, and friendly be so alone?

"Oh really? Where then?"

"California. My brother lives there. I don't see him much, but he's the closest thing I've got other than my parents. He comes up to visit here once every spring."

"That's nice. My family lives in California too." I thought for a live then I got the nerve to ask him. "I know this may sound a little to forward since I just met you, but I was wondering if I can give you my number? I'd really like to get to know you."

Seth was shocked, but didn't show it. This girl wants to know _you_. For once in your life, someone gave you a chance and for once, you don't feel so alone anymore.


	2. Read My Mind

A/N: Hello! Well I want to thank everyone who reviewed. To answer Mrs. Cohen's question, Summer has not always been in her mom's life. She lived with her father all her life so when she finally met her mother, she decided that she had to make up for all of that time. I really hope you guys like this chapter.

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Summer felt a feeling of hope as she walked back to her mother's apartment. Or skipped back. It's funny how you can feel so unfamiliar and so alone at one moment and then feel anticipation that this place can be your own just from one person. Summer walked up to the apartment door where she was greeted with her mother.

"Hey mom. You know this place isn't half as bad as I thought it would be. I really think I can adapt here and begin a new life. I'm beginning to like the cold weather too. It's so refreshing and clean. Maybe tomorrow we can go to your favorite restaurant and tell me about everything here because I feel like there's so much here. I really should thank you for letting me stay here because it was such a great idea and..." Summer began in a rapid cheery pace.

"Summer! What is with the sudden enthusiasm? I could have sworn you looked terribly miserable when you first step foot into this apartment and as much as you tried to hide it, I can see it in your eyes." She said as she took Summer's coat off and hung it on the coat rack.

Summer couldn't help but smile when she thought about it. She couldn't help but smile when she thought about _him_.

"Well... I did meet someone, but we only chatted for a while and I don't know him that well."

"Oh. Of course... A boy. That explains where all this giddiness is coming from. So when will I get to meet this gentlemen?"

"Mother! I just met him! I don't even know if he likes me or if we have anything going on." _I wonder when he's going to call me…_

"Okay then. I won't talk about him anymore. Can I at least know his name?"

"Seth… Seth Cohen."

After meeting Summer, Seth immediately called Ryan on his speed dial. He began walking at a frantic pace along the sidewalks as he kept hearing the repetitive beeps on the phone. _Come on, Ryan pick up!_ he muttered to himself.

"Hello?" a groggy voice answered.

"Finally! I thought you'd never answer!"

"What is it Seth, that you had to call me during my work hours?"

"Yeah.. the work hours in which you spend your time sleeping on the job. I called because something huge has just happened to me for the first time and you are the person that I will inform when something like this happens to me, because you are my brother/best friend and that's what they are for."

"Okay, okay get on with it."

"This may sound unbelievable to you, but for the first time in my 25 years that I have been alive on Earth, a girl gave me her phone number."

Ryan's eyes widened as he hard the last part, "A girl gave you, Seth Cohen, her phone number?"

Ryan knew his brother too well to be hit on by a girl even though they lived on opposite sides of the country for just about all the years they've known each other. Ryan and Seth had only lived with each other for a year and that was when they were 12. Seth had lived in Berkeley when he was young and then had moved to Newport. Ryan was adopted by Sandy and Kirsten when he had just moved there and they got to know each other for a year. They both really bonded together because Ryan was Seth's first friend, excluding Captain Oats and Seth was happy that he wasn't the only one getting used to Newport. From day one Seth was extremely teased and tormented by all the kids at school, including a girl he couldn't quite remember… By the end of his first year at Newport, Seth moved to New York with the Nana because he quite honestly could not stand suffering from such torment that was both physically and emotionally painful to him even if he had Ryan. He was sad to say goodbye to Ryan and his parents, but Sandy and Kirsten were extremely concerned with their son and he had already made his decision to go. Ever since he had left, Seth was still taunted from being _different_. That part of his life never left, but being away from Newport was better than being there. Ryan, Sandy, and Kirsten would come and visit as much as they could during the holidays and vacations so they all were still very much a family.

Seth grinned widely. "Yes Ryan. You heard it. A girl. And not just any girl. A hot, sexy, beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, extremely attractive..."

"Okay enough with the exaggeration." Ryan often had to stop Seth mid-sentence to keep the conversation short and to stop his constant rambling from getting out of hand.

"Well, given that this is sort of a crisis for me since I have no idea what the hell I should do now, you have to come over and visit here. Now. And it's not just for a week. It's going to be a long time. I need some guidance and you are the only one I can rely on."

"Okay."

"What? You're simply going to agree with me? I've asked you to move up her a dozen times and you have declined every single time in which we had several debates on why you cannot live here including your on and off girlfriend Marissa who is mostly the reason why…"

"We broke up."

"Again? Is this like the third or fourth time this year? When will you guys finally get it together?"

"I don't know. Marissa is just, _Marissa_. There is always drama in her life and when I happen to be a part of it, everything seems even more chaotic. I think we're going to have another break so staying over at your place sounds really good right now."

"I know you've been through this so many times before, but one day Marissa will grow up and you just have to keep holding on to her because deep down, I know that you love her and you two will be together."

"Thanks Seth. I care about Marissa too much to let her go. So I'll book a flight today and I should arrive there tomorrow morning. Sound good to you?"

"Yeah that's fine." Seth dazed off for a few seconds.

"Oh shit! I have to call her! Later Ryan!"

"Yeah okay bye." Ryan turned his phone off and rested his head back on his desk and quickly doze back to sleep.

Summer sat on her bed patiently. _When was the last time I got this excited and worked up over a guy? Oh yeah, since Z…"_

Summer's phone began buzzing loudly on the side table that alarmed her and stopped her thoughts. She immediately picked it up.

"Hello?" Summer said.

"Hey. It's Seth. You remember me, right?"

"Yeah of course." _How could I not? You're all I can remember._

"Well, since you wanted to get to know me, I was wondering if you wanted to meet again at the nearby park where we met earlier today."

"Okay. That sounds good."

"How about we meet around 12? Is that okay with you? I know it sounds a little strange but…"

"A little strange? No it's fine. Actually it's perfect. 12 it is."

"No, when I meant 12, I mean 12 a.m."

"12 a.m.! In the middle of the night?" _He certainly picks bizarre times for a date._

"I know it's strange and a bit demanding, but will you agree?"

"Okay. If this is what it takes to get to know you, then you better be interesting!" Summer said half jokingly.

"Oh, I'll make sure you won't fall asleep no matter what time it is. I'll tell you my whole life story."

"Hah. That will sure to make me fall asleep."

"Okay maybe not my whole life, but maybe the highlights of it."

_Kind of like right now._


	3. Waltz 2 XO

It is unbelievable how life can make all of these twists and turns out of a life that was never really there to begin with. Seth felt like he was actually doing something in life. He was actually out there. Well, not out there, but he was going on a date, and at least his relationship status was visible, not when he had no status at all. Somehow this Summer was his hope, and in some way, she was going to help him make a life for himself and have a social life. Have friends. Have a girlfriend. Maybe she may not be his girlfriend, but he knows that somehow… it was going to happen anyway. No matter what gets in his way.

_What the hell did I get myself into?_

Seth sighs as he drops his head onto his desk. He knows what he has in mind for a perfect first date, but pulling it off could be a challenge.

Just as her conversation with Seth ends, the door bell rings. Summer runs to the door and is surprised to see who is at the door.

"Marissa?! What are you doing here??" She jumps into her friends arms and takes her coat.

"Well… Ryan and I broke up and I just couldn't deal with the break-up alone so I thought to myself, why not visit Summer to brighten my mood?"

"So you're here for my emotional support?"

"Yeah, and I won't run into Ryan here."

"Okay well come in Coop! You can take the guest bedroom" she says a she shuts the door.

"It's okay Summer. I don't want to bother you. I actually got a room at a hotel so I'm fine."

"Are you sure? My mom wouldn't mind."

"It's okay, I already paid for it anyway."

"Now you have tell me what happened to you and Ryan this time."

"It's a long story but, it started off with one glass of wine, then..."

"Wow. Typical Ryan/Marissa break-up." Summer said and rolled her eyes.

"Hey! I'm not finished."

"You should really stop getting drunk off your ass or you'll never be serious."

"Will you just let me finish before you give me your opinion?"

"Fine…"

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Seth finally lifts his head from the desk realizing he had spent the night asleep there. He stands up and walks into the kitchen and is surprised to see Ryan eating cereal out of the box.

"Hey man! How did you get in here?"

"Uh, you left your door unlocked. I tried knocking first but no one answered. It's always nice to know that I'm welcome here."

"Whatever dude, you just came here and you're already eating my food!"

"So, wasn't there a reason why you wanted me here?"

"Yeah. I have this date with Summer who I just recently met. And the date is going to be exactly how I envisioned it in my dreams."

"Which dream? The one where there's candle lit dinner at your favorite restaurant and you walk her home and you end up making out with her in the rain?" he says as he pops more Captain Crunch into his mouth.

"I told you that? I never knew you remembered that kind of stuff."

"You talk. A lot."

"Actually, I planned the date to be a candle lit dinner to be at the park."

"Wow. I never knew you would be really that romantic, but go on."

"So, it would really stupid if we had a candle lit dinner during the day. I mean what's the point if the sun's out? So it's going to be in the middle of the night."

"Okay? Well, if you wanted it to be dark out during your date, why not at 8?" Ryan said giving him a questioning look.

"Well, you see one time I was talking a midnight stroll down the park and realized that when everyone is asleep and all the lights are turned off, you can actually see the stars."

"Ahh I see where you're going. Candle lit dinner while watching the stars. Talking about all this romantic date stuff makes me want to vomit."

"Yeah, I'm sorry dude. I know you just broke up with Marissa, but I need to make this date perfect. Guys like me don't get chances often. Or at all." He says sadly.

"Don't worry, Seth. I know you more than anyone and any girl who has turned you down is a fool to not get to know who you really are. You're a great person and someone will realize it and appreciate you for who you are."

"Thanks." He says sniffling.

"Are you crying?"

"I know I don't say this often, but I love you Ryan."

"Stop it, Seth! You know how I hate it when you get all sentimental on me!"

"I love you like a brother." Ryan stalks off in annoyance.

"Gosh can't I ever tell my brother I love him without having him run away?"

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"Where are we going again?" Marissa says as she rubs her arms from the brisk cold air.

"We're going find the perfect dress for me to wear, now hurry up! It's really cold!" She said as she pulls Marissa into the store.

As they walk in, Summer immediately grabs every dress that fits her taste.

"Are you planning on buying all of those Summer?"

"No. I'm trying on every single dress first."

"Okay, because I think I might just try a few of those..."

After a few hours of shopping Summer had finally chosen the perfect dress.

"Won't you be cold in that dress?" Marissa asks as Summer looks herself in the mirror.

"Yeah, well I have to look good on this date."

"You must really like this guy. I mean, I would be creeped out if a guy asked me on a date that late at night. Or morning. Whatever."

"He's not that kind of guy. He's really sweet and nice. He would never do anything to hurt me."

"Okay, now that you've got your dress, can we go out? I really want to rid all my thoughts of Ryan and all this date stuff is making me sick."

"But Coop! I have to make everything perfect! I was planning to clearing all my plans for today all on this date!"

"But I'm here now Summer, so now that you've got a guest, you're going to have to be there for me. You always are."

"That's what frustrates me! I will not be there for you everytime to you fall down. I know I'm you're best friend but all of your problems have been your fault and you need to resolve them yourself!"

"Whatever, come on. I really need something to drink. There must be some club somewhere."

"No Marissa! You are not getting drunk!"

"I could go wherever I want." She stood up and grabbed her purse, heading out the door.

Summer ran out and followed her.

They reached a nearby club and Marissa immediately began drinking her pain away. At first Summer tried stopping her from letting the drinking get out of hand but then she relaxed after Marissa offered her a drink. That led to another and another until they were both drunk dancing with random people.

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It's about 10 o'clock and Seth and Ryan were setting up Seth's big date.

"I'll be here to help set up your date but I will not be here during it okay? I sort of want to do some other stuff."

"Yeah sure." Seth said as he spread out the picnic blanket.

"How many candles did you buy? I thought you were only buying two." Ryan said as he lit every single one.

"Yeah, but it's getting pretty dark."

Ryan stood up. "Well I think you have everything perfect Seth. Just hope you guys have something to talk about."

"Oh, shit Ryan! What if we have absolutely nothing to talk about! No matter how perfect everything is, I could fall flat when we start talking!" Seth began freaking out.

"You have nothing to worry about. You may not be a smooth talker but you definitely talk. A lot."

"You say that way too much."

"It's true. Well I'm off. Wish you luck."

"Bye. I love you."

"Yeah…will you stop with the I love yous?" he cringed at the words and ran off.

"Stop running away from me when I say that!" Seth shouted, irritated.

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Ryan walks down the streets and walks into a nearby club. He immediately spots Summer and Marissa giggling uncontrollably as they dance closely with strangers.

"Marissa!?" he says angrily.

"Uh oh." Marissa giggles.

"Summer? What are you doing here?" he says as he pulls the two girls away to talk to them.

"Don't you know I live here?"

"No. Wait Summer…" _Summer!?! She's Seth's date!!!!_

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A/N: I'm sorry if I confused anyone in the last chapter. This chapter took very long and I'm sorry. I was having a hard time writing it and I'm not sure if I like it. Review if you like it.


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